NeNe Is A NoNo

To say that I am offended, disgusted and inflamed is an understatement.  When a person of color, a woman, who is widely accepted and celebrated by the gay community stoops to using prejudicial and homophobic slurs I have to take to the pen, in this case my computer, and speak my mind.

What I witnessed watching the latest two episodes of Real Housewives of Atlanta has made my blood run from cold to hot.  To get into the dynamics of this fight other than to say, yes Christopher grabbed Kenya.  Yes, Apollo and Peter brutally attacked Brandon is pointless and will serve to do nothing other than muddy the waters.  Watch the episodes in question and judge for yourself.  My point in writing this blog and for not "live-tweeting" during the show was due to the remarks NeNe made regarding Brandon after the evening from hell during her interview portions of the episode.

NeNe is filmed calling Brandon a "silly queen, girl friend in the red gown, like a queen in a red dress."  Her remarks are offensive to me as a gay man.   Why did NeNe go right to the gay card?  For me, its clear.  She is prejudicial about homosexuality.  She still does, deep down, underneath all the hype and political correctness, view homosexuality as wrong, less than, negatively.  Why else would she use the word queen and refer to Brandon  in a female context?  Simply she was angry and when NeNe gets angry her true colors come out.

What NeNe did would be akin to me calling her a black bitch, a stupid nigga if I was arguing with her.  What I find the most troubling is when I have conflict with a friend their skin color, sexual orientation or ethnicity doesn't pop into my mind, but Brandon's sexuality was the go to point for NeNe .  She will win any argument by any means.  For me, conflict is less about wining and more about understanding.  Yes, I lash out when hurt but I have never ever stooped to calling any of my friends offensive slurs about their skin color or ethnicity.  It never occurs to me.

This is not the first time NeNe has stepped into it with me in regards to her questionable behavior with and around members of my community.  I watched her over compensate with Miss Lady Chablis.  She acted like an idiot in front of living legend within the gay community.  Her side eyes and inferences towards other gays is well documented within the series.

NeNe knows where the money is.  She has courted, embraced and pandered to the gay community and we have responded with unbridled love for all things NeNe Leaks.  What she has done in return is prove herself unworthy of our love and support.  NeNe is a smart woman.  She was raised simply and like Taylor Armstrong, will do whatever is needed to not return back to her humble beginnings.  What I found the most appealing about NeNe is turning out to be her greatest character defects.

I don't know about other gay men and women, but for this gay man, her remarks are a clear and accurate picture of just how she feels and I can no longer support her or any of work.  She has proven to me, beyond any doubt to be dishonest and homophobic in her belief structure.  She is simply not allowed to use words like Queen, Girlfriend when referring to a gay man.  No more than I am allowed to call her a Nigga when referring to her.  Its wrong.  What goes on between gay or blacks is off limits unless your part of that community.  I don't care how much she thinks she is Queen of All The Hags, she is simply not allowed.   Her attacking a gay man for being gay, trying to paint him as less than a man because he is gay and not based on his actions illustrate just how ugly a person she is.

I want to respond to her remarks in kind but I cannot even stoop to that level.  I want to call her all kinds of things and say witty, funny remarks to degrade her but I refuse to take the focus off of her actions.  Instead, I offer an open letter to NeNe, which I will be sending to her.

NeNe, 

Hi, my name is Lucien.  I have been a supporter and fan of yours for years.  I supported you because I thought you were a friend and ally to the gay community.  Your behavior on Real Housewives of Atlanta this season show you to be ignorant and intolerant of gays.  These are two qualities I cannot overlook nor endorse.  

I may not be a major player in the entertainment industry.  My blog is of no real consequence.  I am just a simple gay man living in a small town who was incredibly shocked and appalled by your remarks and can no longer be a fan of yours nor support you by watching any program, product or appearance your involved with.  This may not mean much to you but for me its the end.  

I am sure there are many others who feel like I do.  Many who are gay and even gay friendly are sure to have found your intolerant and ugly remarks appalling.  One thing NeNe I have always found is that whatever goes up always comes down.  How fast and how hard the descent depends on what type of person you are.  I find your character lacks depth and honesty.  Instead of sighting Brandon's behaviors as a problem for you, you attempted to belittle, degrade and dehumanize him based solely on his sexuality and that is beyond wrong.  Especially from a woman and a woman of color.  I would think you of all people would know how it feels to be judged and treated less than based on one aspect of the person you are.

Your friends use offensive gay slurs, you, yourself  have used them and for me its just not acceptable.  I hope you find someway to atone for your actions.  I hope you seek out some help so that you can understand and grow beyond the ignorant and intolerant person you have shown yourself to be.  

Signed, Your Ex-Biggest Fan,

Lucien  

I don't know if my blog or even a letter will register with NeNe.  She seems consumed with money and will continue her outrageous behavior until she is told NO.  I love a witty/snarky remark or a well timed one liner, but NeNe has pushed the envelope to far...in fact, said envelope is now on the floor.  What keeps going through my mind is NeNe and her remarks about working in the clubs as a stripper.  She found nothing wrong with her behavior but was quick to point out the flaws in others.  I really think NeNe is caught in some kind of Existential Crisis of mythic proportions.  NeNe get help.  You can run from the unwanted, dark skinned, little girl for the rest of your life but you will never get away from her, she is you and you are her.  Stop looking outward and delve inward.  Heal what needs to be healed, learn what needs to be learnt and grow into a better person.