Recently, while reading the latest blog of my much beloved Kristen Johnston, I was dumb founded and truth be told a little dismayed. I normally love the brash, no bull-shit, no punches pulled funny gal, but her last blog was off. I thought to myself, "you are taking this wrong" and closed the blog and decided to go back to it. A fresh perspective was what I thought I needed. I came back and still feel the same
In her blog, Kristen goes on about how she has always "looked down on celebrities who felt the need to splurt (yeah, her word and not mine and obviously not in the dictionary either) the intimate details of their personal lives." She thinks that is "tacky" and goes on to state she believes it important to hold back so that as actors they can be believable in many roles. Really? OY It was at this point I knew no matter how hard I tried to understand where she was coming from, I just didn't agree. She goes on to say since she doesn't allow her home to be photographed or keeps the names of her boyfriends private that she is, and this is my voice not hers, better than those "other" celebs who divulge every little detail. She then reveals how she was raised to lie, deceive and say "no comment" and that it is the presentation of one's self that is important and not the reality. Again, more head shaking. So now Kristen knows what is right for others? Mmmmm...#Suspect
At this point I can feel my hypocrisy meter raising. I kept thinking to myself, "who the hell is this women?" She decides what others should or should not share about themselves? Really? So, if I share something she doesn't, like my inter-nut (thats for you Sukie) romance which played out on Twitter makes me less than?
She then launches into how she was forced into engaging on social media with the release of her book in 2012.
"The final straw came at one event in New Jersey, when I looked in the store window to see 10 folding chairs, all empty save for one bored woman eating a sandwich. I began to hyperventilate, and went to the parking lot to call my Literary Agent, torn between fury, humiliation and heartbreak.
"I don't understand, Lydia. Nobody's here. Has no one publicized this??!"
"Nowadays they don't really do book tours." She said "Most advertising is done through Social Media."
"Well, their social media person sucks."
"No, Kristen." She said, with eternal patience. "Most authors nowadays have a presence on Twitter and Facebook. Publishers rely heavily on an author's self-promotion. In fact, unless you're Stephen King, most books nowadays have literally no budget for promotion."
"Are you telling me that they paid me a huge chunk of money, and I spent a year & a half writing this thing with virtually no help--and yet---and yet" I felt myself going faint "No one will know it exists??!!""That's right. Unfortunately, it's all up to you."
I don't know what most of you took from the above excerpt from her blog, but I took that she was pissed that others were not out promoting her. She thought all she has to do was show up, sign a few books, blather on about her drunken, drug fueled escapades and presto she was gonna be a NY Times Best Selling Author. From where I am sitting it sounds like a temper tantrum or in AA speak, "addict behavior." So she joined Twitter/Facebook and says it helped make her book the success it is.
Then she launches into a well worn, tried and true rant about the mean, nasty, border crossing minions on social media. When you work in an ice cream store, expect to be cold. When you work in a morgue, expect dead people, when you work in the multi-billion dollar entertainment industry and then right a book about your drug and alcohol addictions, expect to get a few wing-nuts. I am not a star, never pretend to know one, and to be very "real" and "honest" I know of no celebs who would even want to have a friendship with me. Trust me, my life is very screwy and very boring (most of the time). This is a women who has a blog which "splurts" out the intimate details of her illnesses. Bone breaking, surgeries..the whole nine yards but thankfully I don't know what her house looks like so I can find her new role to be so incredible believable. Insert a huge, epic eye roll here. She goes on to recount some of the more salacious boundaries people have broken with her.
"Here are a few examples of boundaries I've established:
"For my own sobriety, I have to ask you to stop contacting me drunk or high."
"You seem to be angry I didn't respond to you right away. Please respect that I work, have a life and can't be at your beck & call."
"I'm not equipped to handle this kind of crisis, please call 911."
"I've already given you the names & numbers of people in your area who can assist you, and you refuse to call them. Yet you continue to turn to me in constant crisis."
"Please don't write me that you're suicidal. How can I possibly help you? What is it you want me to say? Please call 911 and/or call a close friend/family member."
"I can't meet with anyone from Social Media for coffee. Otherwise I'd never leave Starbucks."
"I can't call your family member/friend and talk them out of their addiction."
"I can't get you an acting job."
I could go on and on and on and on....
I'm sure you think these are ridiculous, but each statement above is something I've had to write many, many times to many different people.
"When people refused to respect my boundaries, people I even considered friends, I knew I had no choice but to block them/end the friendship. A few of them now hate me with a passion, conveniently forgetting the months and months of icredible patience and generosity I showed them. Some have even gone so far as to spread lies about me, my mental health, my sobriety."
For many of us, social media has been a learning curve. I am sure anyone reading this blog, can recount a situation or two where their feelings have been hurt or even worse. Social media brings out the very best and also the very worst in folks. Some say its the anonymous nature of the platform, others think because its not in person its easier to be nasty. Who knows? I personally have had few scrapes with folks over the years, but for the most part I have found my way and don't really have a hard time on Twitter.
I like Kristen. I get her most of the time. I find her funny, very self-effacing and real. So why then am I writing what I am sure will be considered a negative blog about her blog? Well, its easy enough to explain. I am tired of celebs complaining about bad press, negative experiences with social media. If you don't like the heat, get out of the kitchen. They have chosen a career in the public eye. By 2014 it is more than known, its been genetically encoded into our DNA that public people will be hounded by the press, people and tabloids. In return they make insanely huge amounts of money. Am I endorsing the behavior of such media outlets as TMZ, The National Inquirer? No. Am I condoning, what I have termed the "Gangs of Twitter", those who group together to slam a celeb? Not at all. I am just saying to whine about your #FirstWorldProblems or #StarIssues is redundant and lame.
One of the best things about social media is you, the person is in charge. You can interact or not. You can tweet or not. You can hire someone to do it for you if your a celeb. An entire industry has popped up and is thriving just managing the public images on social media of celebs. So no I don't get the reason for her blog other than to thank the person "Karen" for her help. In fact, I will be unfollowing Kristen. This last blog is just another rant she has been on for sometime. She is not a victim. She is a celeb whose career depends on all of us little people finding her interesting. If she doesn't like that level of interest in her, then I recommend she stop acting, stop writing books, stop interacting with people on social media and get a job where her person is not the product. Maybe retail? Office work?
I get very irritated with celebs who interact heavily with the general public and then complain when people get too close or consider themselves friends with a celeb. Let me explain it, rather let me dumb it down for all those celebs who have similar issues with the general public. Many of us little people think when a celeb notices us, or interacts with us that somehow our thankless, meaningless, dead end lives mean something. That somehow through contact with a celeb we are elevated and hence our lives and feelings about ourselves are better. I personally could give a shit if a person is a celeb or not. I am not the fawning type. I will crack a few of my snarky one-liners and keep moving. Unless your giving me a huge pile of cash, a blow-job or a car, then your about as useful to me as the guy behind the counter at Cumberland Farms convenience store. I don't give celebs the "G-D Complex" that many do. To me, celebs are just better paid people who look shitty when they roll out of bed and then become sexy after a team of 12 come and do their hair and make-up, pick out their clothes and tell them what to say.
So for Kristen to blog about all the stress and strife some have caused her is the end for me. She is acting like some kind of spoiled brat. I am happy she is doing better health wise. Super excited she remains strong in her sobriety, but highly recommend she seek professional help in correcting her entitled behaviors and in accepting and defining herself as an actress/author. What she find is good for her and only her and let others worry about themselves. Just remember Kristen, when you look down on other celebs for what they share you are really looking down on yourself. Define yourself not others.
There, I am done with my rant. Thanks for reading.
