He always said that is was his attitude, a look or a bad dinner that provoked him to beat him. He took no responsibility for what he did. It was always something which gave him the right to beat, degrade and humiliate him. Everyone in their silence and acceptance of his weak excuses made it seem acceptable and okay to him to continue to be violent.
Those days are over now. He left his abusive husband. It has taken him years to not cringe and jump every time a person touches him. He has begun to heal from the wounds and rebuild his self-esteem. He is me, Lucien.
So you can understand a little of why I get so passionate about violence. Any sort of violence between people, is for me, just not acceptable. When I saw Kenya get attacked by Porsha it just triggers many painful memories for me. What is worse is how everyone turned their heads away or explained away her behavior. That is what really scares me. When did it become okay for a person to put their hands on another person? When?
The response have been overwhelmingly in support of Porsha. I am still shocked. My male followers who are straight have been surprisingly silent. My gay, male followers have been decidedly pro Porsha. The women have been the most surprising, ultra pro Porsha. What does this say about society? Does it tell us we have taught men to strike a women is wrong but if its between two women or two men its okay? When did the message become cloudy and not crystal clear? Violence in any shape or form is wrong.
I am sad because I have fought long and hard to escape the mind set that I did something wrong and my being beaten was somehow my fault. When I see people excuse Porsha and what she did it just makes me feel all over again that we are back in the dark ages. Anyone else out there feel the same? Are we back in the 1950's? Do we just look the other way? Are we supposed to excuse violence under certain circumstances? Who decides what circumstances make is acceptable to hit another? Is their a book?
I think some accountability needs to be demanded from the Bravo Network and from Andy Cohen. While his lips were saying one thing, his actions were saying another. He said Bravo does not condone violence for any reason. Then why would they hype it, tape it, and then air it? When Bravo started to explode I thought this would be a great channel to watch and support because they were pro-gay, pro-women and were evolved. Since the suicide of Taylor Armstrong's husband Russel and the violence on the shows I am finding it harder and harder to continue watching their programming.
If we can grow and evolve as a society to embrace all as equals how can we excuse violent behavior or the network which airs it? How can we come down on a man for speaking his mind and yet say Porsha was justified in attacking Kenya? Don't get me wrong, I am not team Kenya by any stretch of the imagination. Until as a society we all hold ourselves accountable for our own actions, until we all decry violence as unacceptable we will all be at risk of having violence done to us all.
There were many options open to Porsha. She could have asked to have those props of Kenya's taken away. She could have walked off the stage and refused to continue. The only thing Porsha did was show the under-belly of her personality. In the end, I leave the show disappointed and yet again, very disillusioned by a show and a network.
Take a stand people. Demand these networks, these reality celebs be accountable and if they cross the line they will and can be replaced. We have to demand accountability. We have to say violence is not entertaining and will not be supported. Stop the violence on TV, in the home and in our lifetime. Just stop.
